As I was writing my grant application for Challenged Athletes Foundation, a San Diego based organization, I remembered a conversation we have had with a couple of my NSCD teammates on the plane, heading toward the downhill races in Kimberley,Canada.
My good friend Ben Hooper asked this randomly weird question: “If you suddenly woke up and could walk again, would you tell anyone?” It is a shocking question, outrageous even. It makes absolutely zero sense! Shakespeare phrased it in the best possible way: And therein, as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub.
The more we have rationally thought about the question, the more we agreed the answer to the question would have to be: “No.” Don’t get me wrong, walking is awesome. I can walk a little and it makes my life easier many times. On the other hand, for the last 9.5 years I have worked my ass off so I can roll with pride. My entire image as an athlete is, whether I like it or not, built firstly on my disability and then defying its limitations. My job description is extreme adaptive athlete. If I were to walk again, I would just be one of the many, lost among the crowd. I can’t compete with the crazy dudes sponsored by Red Bull. Hell, even if I could, I don’t even know if I wanted to. N. and my mom would probably kill me, so I wouldn’t kill myself doing any of it (and honestly, who would blame them for it).
Will I ever walk? I don’t know, but it is definitely not my life’s first priority. All I know is, that until my life keeps me from walking off my chair, I have earned the right to roll with pride.
